1. |
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i hate this
i just want you
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2. |
Wasp Parts
02:10
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i thought by now the problem would be over
but it still plays through in my head
i know you wish i was dead
but that feeling is mutual
everything's broken now
everything's stolen now
they're living through everything
you motherfuckers joked about
and i wish you would focus on the problem
instead of the distraction
who knows if that'll happen?
do you realize what's at stake here?
i won't just lay and wait here
i thought by now everything would be fixed
but it wasn't that long ago
you won't ever know
just how hard they had to fight
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3. |
Salem's Catharsis
02:53
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i'm sorry my body is breaking
i wish i could help but i really need saving
i know it's a lot for me to ask of you
but lately it feels like i'm dying
i wish i was happy without even trying
i feel so alive whenever i'm with you
you can only get so far
eating yrself until you reach the stomach
then it ends up on the floor
i don't wanna be here anymore
i'm sorry you had to see me like this
but i can't fix myself
it won't disappear til i throw it away
you can only get so far
breaking her heart til you realize you love her
then what was all of this for?
so many feelings are going ignored
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4. |
Sickly Sweet
02:55
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are those white roses in yr trash?
i thought you knew me better than that
i can't help but feel it's my fault
that you really don't know me at all
i hate treating you so sickly sweet
just to get yr attention, i need it
i know it's unrequited
so i'll just stay quiet
force myself to fight it
surprised if i die
torture
every body part is out of order
i'm wondering if it's enough to kill me
and if it isn't now, just know it will be
you tried to calm me down
you kicked me out
i hate treating you so sickly sweet
i cannot be yr heaven
and how could you think this?
i have so many reasons now
to turn it off for good
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5. |
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i almost hope we
never meet again
i could've gone my whole life
without knowing that
and now i think
i should've stood up
for myself that time
i never really felt
comfortable around you
and now i realize
it doesn't matter
how well they treated you
afterwards
you'd do anything
to distract yrself from me
even though i love you
i'm still so afraid
she doesn't love you
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6. |
Paint Water Whirlpools
01:24
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7. |
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1500 needles tearing in and out of me
but it doesn't feel wrong at all
you couldn't fix this if you tried
i'm just waiting for them to eat me
i don't wanna be beside you
any more than you wanna get help
i know there are things inside you
but i need to think of myself
and there isn't much sense
in the lies that you spew
with far too much ease
while i lay there so tense
with rigor mortis set in
your eyes continue to pierce
the heart i laid bare,
and my skeleton spread thin
the stamp of your shoes
still stains through the floor
to remind me each day
that I never really got to choose
grinding up into pieces so small
you can't tell what it used to be
if yr so afraid of everything
then what's the point of dragging in me?
i'm not gonna try to fight you
you think i know every part of yrself
you know that i wanna die to
no, i can't take care of yr health
i loathe all that i am
when i feel your embrace
it drives me to death
like sinking down through the dam
scars run deep through our blood
burning with a fiery anger
and you're too scared to run
so i struggle through flood
i wish you didn't eat my brain
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8. |
My Own Warmth
02:38
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i don't feel bad
for what i said
at all
it was true
begging please don't go
when i'd already known
i'll die before i'm ever proud of myself
but i'm too uncomfortable to try and be somebody else
i just spend all my time wishing i was alive
when i know for a fact that i'm dying
i love the way you draw
i love yr poetry
i wanna take it all
but you would know it's me
this is the first and the last time
we talk about the fact that i need my own warmth
i tried to be the bigger person
now look at me
i tried to be a better person
now look at me
i wanna eat it raw
i wanna sink my teeth
i wanna tear it off
i wanna feel relief
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9. |
Let's Live Forever
01:13
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i don't care, yr still beautiful
yr still my favorite person
i would sing
i would bleed
i'd do anything for you
just to prove that i love you
writing love letters of
how we'll get married one day
but i hope it doesn't scare you
so please don't run away
i don't know what i am doing,
like at all, but i love you
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10. |
Sunsets
01:33
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if only you held me like you do in my dreams
touching my hand
i just wish these feelings were
a little easier to understand
but i can't
i can't win this battle
i won't win this battle
i'm done, i can't take this shit
(but how could you stand so still?)
i don't wanna have to go and see you
i wish someone would come take me away from you
i will be the one that has to keep myself away from you
sunsets are so blue
whenever i'm without you
it makes me wish i was dying
but when i die it will be made into a punchline
so i hope you won't just waste my time
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11. |
Drumfuck
00:13
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12. |
The Time I Spend Awake
02:24
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how can you try to hold my hand and then call me a faggot?
i never did a single thing to you
you hate yrself so you took it out on me
you don't fucking stand for anything
you are a pussy
i hope you die
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13. |
Zinnia Baby
02:29
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wouldn't it be peculiar if
the very instant you start talking
they don't exist?
watching time go
you'll never get back
you didn't know that it makes me ache
when you hold me
and i just wish i told you
how would i know that you would toy with me?
are you bored of me?
you can't put my stem back in the water
isn't it convenient
you only claim that i saved you
when i'm here
then you might go
talk shit behind my back
what's the point of that?
like you didn't know that
i am really trying
but what does it matter if yr
still mad at me?
because i know that i'm not who
i used to be
and you know it as well
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14. |
Lilac Lesions
02:14
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i just wanted to feel comfortable
in this wretched body
it won't be like last time
i'll make sure of it
am i a bitter empty hole
for you to fill back up
with all the things that you don't want?
then you just sew me up
'cause you made me feel so horrible
like i have nobody
you throw me to the ground
you try to kick me while i'm down
there won't be a next time
you just murdered it
i just wanted to be one with you
i couldn't take
all this pain
that it came with
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15. |
Fake Freckles
02:10
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this was so avoidable
whether you believe it or not
you could do whatever you wanted
without getting caught
(i saw some things i'd rather not)
i feel so ill
and i'm afraid of everything
i just don't know
all i can do is fucking scream
and it gets so hard
i've seen the worst of everything
that's how i accidentally learned
that this whole world is fucking mean
what the fuck do i mean?
and what the fuck do i bring
that hasn't been already
incorporated in the scene?
it's not enough
to wanna be another part of it
i try so hard but i'm
still not satisfied
i'd like to be everything i wanted
but who knows if i have it in me?
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16. |
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i think i found the perfect place
to bash my head in
i should've never gone and listened to you
now i'm floating with my face into the water
but i'm not cold
i feel so warm
i feel so calm
i won't grow old
this is the first time
i ever took time
to help myself feel better
this was the worst crime
but i had a good time
putting it all to an end
oh dear god
i can't be helped
drowning in my blood
can't stop hating myself
i see everybody i ever knew
look down at my body with disgust
and resentment
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17. |
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they finally closed yr eyes
that's when i realized
that you were really gone
and we can't have you back
i lost the only one
who ever had my back
and i found that
it wasn't anyones fault
those dreams were just too intense
i hate myself
this isn't fair
i'm so alone
i'm fucking scared
i hate myself
this isn't fair
yr on yr own,
trippy the bear
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18. |
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my t-shirt
yr necklace
why can't we
just end this
we're dumb and
we're reckless
i'll never forget who you are
how many times can you prove me right?
that's not the way that you fix yr life
i'm really trying but i'm still not getting anywhere
i started crying but it wasn't cause you weren't there
i'll just take this and go
i can't remember anything
amnesiac
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19. |
Robin
08:59
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i would fantasize
of looking like them
all those other guys
i'd never fit in
i'm uncomfortable
but i'm getting there
it's intolerable
ripping out my hair
you laughed when i told you my truth
so why should i care what happens to you?
i think i'm starting to realize what this is about
we are made of so many things
so what do you care what i want to be?
you could use me for so many things
i just wanna be useful to me
you could make me into so many things
i just wanna feel beautiful please
you drown when the water's not clear
(and no one helps you)
you hide and you quiver in fear
(where no one finds you)
pretend that there's no one else here
an evil voice that rings in yr ears
i know you think that yr someone who
knows my body and my mind
i never want you to hold onto that image of me
does it hurt to see the version of me
that i want? well, i don't care
i've been so confused for far too long
it took so much to find exactly what was wrong
it's time to take back feelings i've had all along
but i won't die
we've been here longer than you have
bitch i won't die
i hope it hurts when you pass on
you never deserved any comfort
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20. |
Gut U
01:35
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21. |
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🤫
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Salem's Corydalis California
my name is sam and I make music under the name salem's corydalis <33
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